My mum is the closest person to me and someone I know truly has my back no matter what. The past few months I’ve just looked at her differently because how she's put up with my current state, the straight-up advice she gives and the going up and down she’s been doing. Especially this September when I had been in the hospital 3 times! (Not for depression).
She doesn’t sugar coat things and of course she tells me things no one else would tell me about myself. And being more mature now, I am better able to absorb all her comments and criticisms – positive or negative and try and work on her suggestions.
Our relationship previously was awful. Honestly I thought at one point we’d become estranged from each other. But it was at the weakest point of our relationship that things turned around. I’ve heard that at the moment you feel like giving up, it’s the moment something good will happen to you - It appeared to be true this time.
I don’t want to keep repeating this but, generally, in black communities, depression is not well recognised as being that serious or that it can be disabling. So it’s either a depressed person may not want to reveal how they are feeling or, if they did, people around them would not know the first thing to do or say. This would leave the person unsupported.
I think I’m lucky. My mum is there for me. So is my dad. They both understand. So do a few friends of mine.
I just want to know though – who are your supporters? Do you have any? Even an external support group. It’s good to appreciate the ones around you because they are practically going through this with you. Even if it’s just God at the moment, I’m sure you should say thank you when you pray to him if you think he is by your side?
I think people that can deal with a depressed person are quite mentally strong themselves. They must be because how frustrating is it to keep giving the same advice but the person does not implement them. I recognized that for about a year the same thing was being repeated to me from all angles and never did I actually do what was asked or suggested. But, they kept at it. So I’m grateful to have such pillars of strength around me like that - especially my mother who has to LIVE with me.
Yes, you can barely look out or look after yourself, but be somewhat considerate to those who can stand to be around you – that was the main essence of this post.
If you feel you have absolutely no one, it's OK to let people in. You can filter out who cares and who doesn't.