Tuesday, 13 October 2015

I Can Do This Alone▲


I wanted to “meditate” myself out of depression but could I even get up to take a bath in good time? On bad days, I would be so far trapped into my own head and drive myself into a comatose state. How then could I honestly try and convince myself that I can get better on my own.

If you feel like you can come out of your depression yourself, 9 times out of 10, it might end up being the hardest thing you would put yourself through. Yes everyone is different but I’m just speaking from experience - I’ve tried it. I am already crazy stubborn (realised this when I refused to take painkillers (laughing gas) at A&E once - who does that lol) and I've always liked to think I can sort myself out without anyone telling me what to do. But even I had to surrender (if I knew what was good for me). Surrender myself to medication that I thought would turn me nuts and also to seeking help outside the ‘comfort’ of my house. It's kind of embarrassing that I need such. But I need it.
At the end of the day, I know what I desire – long term emotional stability and I wanted to exhaust all kind of ‘remedies’ to get there. I also had to seek the correct help – not just a few “it’ll be ok’s’” everyday. 

If you have a counselor or something similar, are you carrying out their suggestions? – what would be the point if not? I didn’t at first because once I got home… bed. But, again I had to keep it real. Do I want to get better? Or am I actually comfortable doing nothing… day in day out.

You might have to combine different types of help – find your unique 'prescription’ so to speak.

I made this hard for myself from being so stubborn – refusing help for nearly a year on top of already procrastinating on just about everything. Be honest with yourself because pride only last so long. Do you need help?

"you can't heal what you refuse to confront."

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